It's 9:00. Parents, do you know where your children are?

#1 just fell asleep, despite skipping her nap today (I sense an alarming trend there);

#2 is still wide awake after a 30-minute cat nap at 7pm. Last night she was still kicking at 10:30.

Have I mentioned I'm on a deadline for a huge freelance project?

Dear universe:

I surrender! Here's my white flag. I apologize profusely for ... well, whatever it was I did in my previous life to get such crappy sleepers in the international baby lottery. Are these moms whose newborns sleep through the night at 6 weeks old paying you off? Because I want to get in on that racket. It's been almost five months. Five. Long. Months. Please, universe ... can you call off the dogs already? Surely it's quite entertaining, giving me a bad sleeper for my first kid and then an equally bad sleeper for the second when the world is full of "your second will be so much easier" adages. I'm tired. So tired that even 4 straight hours -- no, make that 3! -- of sleep sounds positively delightful. Can you transfer this house's bad-sleeping juju to a vapid celebrity who can afford a night nanny or two? Maybe one of those Kardashian girls? That'd be swell.

love,
me (the girl with the permanent dark circles who yawns a lot)