scariest parenting moment ever

We were in the Starbucks drive-through on Friday and I heard Audrey making a gagging noise as I pulled up to the window. I thought maybe she was spitting up, but she whimpered in a weird way, so I flung my door open as the barista was trying to hand me my drink and opened hers to check on her. She seemed ok ... she had a wet chin like she'd just spit up, so I got back in the car, got my drink, and started driving. Then I heard the gagging noise again and something just didn't seem right, so I looked for a parking space -- there weren't any at Starbucks, so I sped to the next parking lot over and screeched to a halt.

I got out and unbuckled her from her seat, and it definitely seemed like she was choking on something, but I didn't know what -- she didn't have any toys in the seat or anything like that. I thought maybe she'd spit up, aspirated it and couldn't catch her breath, but I turned her over my knee and started hitting her on the back because I was sort of at a loss for what else to do. I flipped her over and noticed that her lips and feet were sort of turning blue, but she was still whining and conscious, just getting more limp. Gah. My heart is racing just typing this.

When I saw the blue lips, I grabbed my phone and tried to call 911. But first, I accidentally hit redial on one of my friends, then a freelance client who lives in CA -- stupid easy-to-redial iPhone + shaking hands! I vaguely remember a women in her car one parking lot over staring at me -- I wondered briefly if she thought I was losing my temper with the baby or something. I just kept pounding her on the back, and she finally coughed up a bunch of foamy saliva all over me and the ground.

She didn't cry, but the awful gagging/choking noises and the strange whimpering had stopped and I could hear her breathing clearly, so I told the 911 dispatcher I thought everything was ok. She told me the paramedics were almost to us and to just stay where we were. While I was standing there in a daze, I looked down by my feet and noticed a folded up pink band-aid. Then what happened hit me -- when she had her shots on Monday, one of her band-aids came off when I was putting her in the car and got stuck to the seat back. I meant to take it off and forgot, and then didn't even notice it when I put her in the car. I guess she kicked it off the seat and somehow managed to get it in her mouth. To say I feel like mother of the year is an understatement. :(

The paramedics were so nice -- Audrey charmed them with her babbling and grinning like nothing happened, and flashed a super huge grin at the very cute EMT. I called the pediatrician's office when I got home, and they said as long as she could eat without an issue, she didn't need to be seen. The nurse said, "Great job, mom -- you did the right thing!" But I don't feel like I can take any credit for it ... the right thing would have been to have gotten that band-aid out of the car when it happened.

The most important thing is that she's ok. Me? Not so much. I keep flashing back to it, remembering how I kept saying, "Audrey Audrey Audrey!" and telling Olivia to be quiet so I could think. My dreams the last two nights have been filled with topics even the most novice dream analyst could figure out: planes crashing before my eyes, horrible car accidents, Audrey choking on grapes, toys, plastic bags, you name it. And there was the dream about Bret Michaels hitting on me, which ... who knows about that one.

Olivia keeps saying things like, "Audrey coughing and the am-ba-wance came!" She pretended to choke while she was eating and told me to call the ambulance (not funny mere hours after The Incident, but pretty hilarious now!), and says "Mama hit Oggie's back and the red firetruck came!" -- that line will surely be the one she yells at top volume the next time we're at the store. ;)