Wednesday, April 22, 2009

off to the races

Olivia is walking about 98% of the time now, and she seems to be quite tickled by her newfound skills. She often squeals/shrieks when she walks, sometimes pumping alternating fists in the air, reveling in her sheer magnificence. It's pretty hilarious, if I do say so myself -- this kid is spunky. She occasionally breaks into a brisk walk/run, usually when she's headed for something she knows is verboten. You should be able to see the latest video of her practicing her strut using the video link on the left side.

So, I broke down and joined a moms' group about a month ago. While there, you leave your kids in their childcare room so you can -- gasp! -- have uninterrupted, adult conversation without having to shoo grabby hands away from your food, jump up and chase your offspring who is inevitably teetering toward something perilous, or give a brief seminar on No, We Don't Pick Our Noses In Public; It's Gross. Olivia does not like being left in the childcare room, as you can imagine. All of the ladies in there are sweet as pie, but apparently 14 months is prime separation anxiety time and she doesn't care how nice they are -- she does NOT want to be there. I end up practically jogging down the hall, fingers in ears, la-la-la-ing to myself so I don't have to hear the plaintive wails of "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ma! MAMA!" (translation: "Get your fool ass back here, woman!")

As you can imagine, between Gymboree and the childcare room (a.k.a. Places Babies Can Put Filthy Toys In Their Mouths For Fun), Miss Olivia has had quite the streak of colds for the last month. She handles it like a champ, but is still not a fan of having her nose wiped. The blue hospital-issue bulb sucker thingy? Yeah, that's a no go. So out of sheer desperation, enter the Nosefrida.

Uh, yeah. I'm (sadly) serious. I mocked this very device last year on a message board. I picture the scenario playing out like this:

Mom: Hey, baby! You know what would be super fun? I'm going to put a HOSE in my MOUTH and use it to suck your boogers out! Are you ready?

baby: Uh, lady? This seems like a very bad idea for many reasons.

Mom: Here we go!

baby: *throws arms up in surrender, mouth agape with terror*

Here's the rub: the thing is actually recommended by her pediatrician, so I'm going to give it a go. The website assures me that no baby boogs will even make it up into the hose, never mind my mouth, so we shall see (it's on order -- you know I'll be updating with results if I can ever get up the courage to use it).

The Nosefrida is probably second on my list of Creepiest Baby Products Ever. Coming in at #1 is the Zaky:

See how that baby is sleeping with his eyes slightly cracked open? I would too if two giant, limbless, 1970s-pantyhose-nude bean bag hands were hovering over my cranium and butt.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

the maternal instinct kicks in early

And yeah, that is a bottle. I'm a wimp, you see. A wimp whose child's cries of "BA-BA! BAAAAA! BAAAAAAAAAA!" could be used as a Waco-style audio torture method should I ever choose to hole myself up in a house and refuse to come out. Ba-ba will go bye-bye ... soon.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

a few days shy of 14 months old ...

She's finally getting the hang of this walking thing!

She also learned how to raise her hands above her head and yell "TA DAAAA!" when she's proud of herself about something. If only adults could do that without looking odd ...