100% pure toddler

I took Olivia to get her hair cut today, something she's been dreading pretty much since the day she last got her hair cut over a year ago. I started talking it up a week ago, explaining all the steps: first, she'd go into the salon and meet Yvette (who also cuts my hair). Then she'd sit in a special big-girl chair that goes up and down. Yvette might spray a little water on her hair, and then she'd use scissors to cut it, and it wouldn't hurt at all. And the best part -- that when her haircut was done, she would get a sucker and a sticker.

She talked about all the steps in the car on the way over, even cheerily adding, "And then we be all done and I get lollipop, sticker AND a balloon!" She did fine walking into the salon and greeting Yvette and my sister, who graciously agreed to swing by and wrangle Audrey so I could give O my full attention.

But then she got in the chair and the tears and "NOOOOOO!"s began. We decided she should sit on my lap so it would be less scary. Yvette busted out a sucker for her and explained that people love to get their hair cut. Then, in a moment of brilliance, she suggested that maybe she should cut mommy's bangs first and then Olivia could have her turn. "NO!" she interjected through her tears. "It's MY TURN!"

If you ever had any doubt about her nearly-two-and-a-half-ness, you need look no further for proof!

scariest parenting moment ever

We were in the Starbucks drive-through on Friday and I heard Audrey making a gagging noise as I pulled up to the window. I thought maybe she was spitting up, but she whimpered in a weird way, so I flung my door open as the barista was trying to hand me my drink and opened hers to check on her. She seemed ok ... she had a wet chin like she'd just spit up, so I got back in the car, got my drink, and started driving. Then I heard the gagging noise again and something just didn't seem right, so I looked for a parking space -- there weren't any at Starbucks, so I sped to the next parking lot over and screeched to a halt.

I got out and unbuckled her from her seat, and it definitely seemed like she was choking on something, but I didn't know what -- she didn't have any toys in the seat or anything like that. I thought maybe she'd spit up, aspirated it and couldn't catch her breath, but I turned her over my knee and started hitting her on the back because I was sort of at a loss for what else to do. I flipped her over and noticed that her lips and feet were sort of turning blue, but she was still whining and conscious, just getting more limp. Gah. My heart is racing just typing this.

When I saw the blue lips, I grabbed my phone and tried to call 911. But first, I accidentally hit redial on one of my friends, then a freelance client who lives in CA -- stupid easy-to-redial iPhone + shaking hands! I vaguely remember a women in her car one parking lot over staring at me -- I wondered briefly if she thought I was losing my temper with the baby or something. I just kept pounding her on the back, and she finally coughed up a bunch of foamy saliva all over me and the ground.

She didn't cry, but the awful gagging/choking noises and the strange whimpering had stopped and I could hear her breathing clearly, so I told the 911 dispatcher I thought everything was ok. She told me the paramedics were almost to us and to just stay where we were. While I was standing there in a daze, I looked down by my feet and noticed a folded up pink band-aid. Then what happened hit me -- when she had her shots on Monday, one of her band-aids came off when I was putting her in the car and got stuck to the seat back. I meant to take it off and forgot, and then didn't even notice it when I put her in the car. I guess she kicked it off the seat and somehow managed to get it in her mouth. To say I feel like mother of the year is an understatement. :(

The paramedics were so nice -- Audrey charmed them with her babbling and grinning like nothing happened, and flashed a super huge grin at the very cute EMT. I called the pediatrician's office when I got home, and they said as long as she could eat without an issue, she didn't need to be seen. The nurse said, "Great job, mom -- you did the right thing!" But I don't feel like I can take any credit for it ... the right thing would have been to have gotten that band-aid out of the car when it happened.

The most important thing is that she's ok. Me? Not so much. I keep flashing back to it, remembering how I kept saying, "Audrey Audrey Audrey!" and telling Olivia to be quiet so I could think. My dreams the last two nights have been filled with topics even the most novice dream analyst could figure out: planes crashing before my eyes, horrible car accidents, Audrey choking on grapes, toys, plastic bags, you name it. And there was the dream about Bret Michaels hitting on me, which ... who knows about that one.

Olivia keeps saying things like, "Audrey coughing and the am-ba-wance came!" She pretended to choke while she was eating and told me to call the ambulance (not funny mere hours after The Incident, but pretty hilarious now!), and says "Mama hit Oggie's back and the red firetruck came!" -- that line will surely be the one she yells at top volume the next time we're at the store. ;)

6 months!

She's starting to sleep for several hours at a time now -- last night, she was only up once, but it was from 3-5 a.m. Baby steps. She rolls from back to belly and belly to back, and is starting to get the hang of sitting up, though she's still super wobbly.

At her ped appointment today, she weighed 15 pounds 8 ounces (45th percentile) and was 26" long (60th percentile). She's definitely more of a chunk than her big sister was at this age, at least from looking at her chunka chunka thighs.

She has 6-month testing at the audiologist tomorrow, which I'm a little nervous about for really no reason. I know I'll be holding her in the testing booth, and that she'll be wearing her hearing aid and will have her other ear plugged for the test, but other than that, I'm not sure how it'll all work. More on that tomorrow.

crocodile roll

Audrey can apparently now roll herself over and over and over to get somewhere. How do I know this, you ask? I haven't yet witnessed it personally, but I put her on her playmat this afternoon, went in the kitchen to get a drink, and came out and she'd rolled herself partially under the entertainment center. Thankfully, the Wii Fit board kept her from going all the way under. I'll take that mother of the year trophy now!

We joined the summer reading program at the library today. Olivia got a card with her name on it, and she'll get points for every book I read to her. Right now she's loving "If You Take a Mouse to School" and "Please Baby Please." Audrey and I also got cards, but I'm thinking neither of us will be doing much reading right now. ;)

Olivia cracks me up lately -- she says some of the cutest and funniest things. Tonight when I was getting her ready for bed and hugged her, she said, "Once upon a time, mama gave OE a big hug! Once upon a time, OE gave mama a big kiss!" Sweet, right? While changing her dirty diaper, she proclaimed that it was full of "walrus pebbles." I think she must have gotten that from daddy.

And last -- but definitely not least -- Audrey only woke up once last night for a bottle. Thank you, baby sleep gods! I apologize for cursing your name repeatedly over the last 5.5 months.