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"You're still UP?"
-- coworker when I bumped into her at a restaurant. It was 6 p.m. Whether she meant "up" as in awake or still standing, I have no idea. Why I wouldn't be either is beyond me.

"Your due date is tomorrow? You shouldn't be out of the house!"
-- Babies R Us cashier, who surely has seen people more pregnant than me.

"When's your due date? [shocked face] You'd better just go ahead and get to the hospital right now!"
-- Hostess at a Mexican restaurant, apparently assuming I had a very spicy meal. NOTE: this was days ago, and that obviously didn't work.